The Death of a Vision

We all have some idea or "vision" of what our life is to be like, what career path we're going to take, where we want our kids to grow up...  Many of you have followed that vision to the letter and are exactly where you planned to be at this point and time.  Some of you, however may not be anywhere near where you thought you'd be, yet here you are; we call this

"the death of a vision".  

The death of a vision can leave us with an incredible sense of loss.  Bill Gotthard said, "Sometimes God leaves our vision dead and never revives it; this tells us it was not His will but of our own making.  Sometimes He renews and fulfills our exact vision and sometimes He brings to life something similar, but different."

In John 12:24 Jesus says, "...unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.  But, if it dies, it produces many seeds."

God has a special purpose for all of us and He equips us for that purpose.  We all have desires, ambitions, and special talents.  When we are able to visualize, by faith, what God would have us do with these ambitions or talents, we see

"the birth of a vision".

Look at the birth of the vision in John 12:24, as it pertains specifically to the grain of wheat.  We see that a grain of wheat has a "vision" of reproducing itself and many more grains of wheat.  The death of the vision comes when the grain falls to the ground and dies.  At that point, it seems impossible that the vision of producing more grains of wheat can ever be fulfilled.  

We can very easily become discouraged when our vision dies; when we see no possibility for coming back, of having our marriages restored, our careers resurrected, etc.  We have to remember that if the vision is God's to begin with, He will be faithful to complete it.  We just have to wait on Him and trust Him.  We have to walk by faith and not by sight.

The loss of anyone or anything that matters to us can trigger the grief process; the closer the relationship or the more we've invested (of ourselves, our time, our money, our hopes, our dreams), the deeper the loss.

Five Stages of Grief

1 - Denial - "this can't be happening"; "there's got to be some other explanation"

2 - Anger - wanting to fight back, place blame, get angry at someone, even yourself for allowing "it" to happen, even God; bitterness.

3 - Bargaining - attempting to make deals with God to stop or change what's happening.

4 - Depression - an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, frustration, unforgiveness, mourning.

5 - Acceptance - finding the good that can come out of loss; finding comfort and healing; finding forgiveness and peace.

"The eyes of the LORD watch over those who do right; His ears are open to their cries for help...The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those who are crushed in spirit."  Ps. 34:15 & 18

God sees what you're going through right now.  God hears your cries for help.

Psalm 84:6 says that there are "refreshing springs and pools of blessing when we walk through the Valley of the Weeping".

How precious is that?!  My commentary on these verses says, "Growing strong in God's presence is often preceded by a journey through barren places in our lives...The person who loves to spend time with God will see his/her adversity as an opportunity to re-experience God's faithfulness."

It's hard to say how long we might experience any one stage of grief, but the fulfillment of the God-given vision is a promise; He will complete what He began.  The fulfillment of the vision is not dependant on where we are in the grief process.  We may not, however clearly be able to see God's hand until we've completed the acceptance stage.  After all, hindsight is 20/20.

"The fulfillment of the vision"

 in John 12:24 is seen as the harvest springs up out of the very process of what appeared to be the death of the grain that fell to the ground.  In Isaiah, God says (and I love this), "...I am about to do a brand new thing.  See, I have already begun!  Do you not see it?  I will make a pathway through the wilderness for my people to come home.  I will create rivers for them in the desert!"  (43:19)

God is doing a "new thing"!  He's "already begun!"  God says He's making "a pathway through (what feels very much like) the wilderness" and He's "creating rivers" for us in this dry and weary land.  The word "create" here is the same word used in Genesis 1:1 - bara - it means "out of nothing".  God's not fixing your old vision, He's creating a brand new vision - He's already begun!

But wait...there's more good news...

Not only is God creating a new vision for you by way of a new job, new love for your spouse, new appreciation for life, etc...

God is doing a "brand new thing" inside of you also - in your heart and in your mind!

Charles Stanley said, "What the mind thinks governs everything."  Look back at The Five Stages of Grief...Your loss drug you through denial, anger, bargaining, and depression all of which separate us from God.  Those thoughts/feelings originate in the mind and find it's way to our hearts where bitterness and unforgiveness can easily take root.

Step into the "refreshing springs, and pools of blessing", my friend.

 God's "new thing" has begun!

Time

One more school year under our belt. Next week, Moi will begin his sophomore year.  Where has the time gone? I was looking through some old pictures this morning; I sure miss those baby/toddler years. Fat little cheeks, no wrists or ankles...precious! Now he's as tall as I am; a most handsome young man. While I miss those early years, I am most proud of the man he is becoming. 

Life goes by too quickly. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and months into...decades. My granddaughter is graduating from kindergarten, my oldest grandson is going to be in the 6th grade, and my baby boy will be 3. 

On my dresser is a photo of myself and my great-grandmother; I must have been about 4 years old at the time. Four...that was 55 years ago, but it seems like just yesterday. 

So, where does the time go? 

It rests in photographs, letters, and in our memories. It lines the walls in beautiful frames, and fills the pages of family albums. Time can be found in boxes filled with 8mm reels, VCR tapes, and DVDs; cards, letters, and journals kept in dresser drawers, desks, or shoe boxes in the closet. It's found in the lines on the faces of those we love, in the old boots that sit next to the fireplace, the worn rocker/recliner, or the handkerchief in my dresser. 

In short, time never really goes anywhere. It sticks around reminding us of where we came from and the road we've traveled.

While antique shopping with Moi this weekend, I saw many photographs of men, women, and children that looked to have been taken in the early 1900's. Looking at them, I realized that even when we are gone and forgotten by those we have loved, time never forgets. 

Time - amazing.

Exhaustion

I am going to do something I don't do too often, I am going to share with you how I really feel today...

I have had a rough 4 weeks.  I have found myself busier than I like to be and I am exhausted - physically, emotionally, and therefore spiritually exhausted.  

How does that happen?  I didn't wake up 4 weeks ago and say, "Let me see how much I can cram into the next 4 weeks.  Let me work myself into such a state of exhaustion that I can't think about anything else but how tired I am."  I didn't say any of those things, but clearly I didn't pace myself or take time for myself and my family somewhere in the midst of all that could not be avoided either.

Admittedly, I am all about the task; a task driven individual who actually works better under pressure.  I often wait till 5 days before my deadline to kick it in gear and, oddly enough, I seem to derive some kind of satisfaction in the midst of the exhaustion I complain about.  How warped is that?!?

Surely you can relate.

I know that I am not unique.  I have talked to countless women over the years who do not pace themselves, do not take care of themselves, and always put others first.  I am curious to know if men are the same.  I know my husband works hard at his job and when he comes home, he changes clothes and heads for the barn.  He does say, however, that working outside is his "therapy".  That doesn't make sense to me since he works so hard outside that he has been on the verge of heat exhaustion too many times.  

Rarely do I go for a mani/pedi, I even hate to stop long enough for a haircut; I spend the entire time thinking about all the things I should be doing.  I have several hobbies, but I don't make time for them.  Did I mention I don't have a job outside the home.  I am a stay-at-home mom!  What would my life be like if I did work outside the home!  OMGoodness...can't go there.

The big question is, do I need to be this busy?  The answer is a resounding NO !  That's the really sad part.  

So, how busy is too busy?  

For me, "too busy" is when I miss a doctor's appointment because I haven't looked at the calendar for the past 2 weeks.   "Too busy" is when Moi doesn't have any clean jeans and my husband has to go to Walmart to buy new underwear and socks because his are buried under 6 loads of dirty laundry.  "Too busy" is when the bill collectors begin calling because the unopened mail is somewhere on the desk I keep dumping stuff on to get it out of my way.  "Too busy" is realizing I only put mascara on one eye and can't remember if I used deodorant.  "Too busy" is forgetting to take my medicine or brush my teeth because I was distracted and wasn't able to follow my usual routine.  "Too busy" is smiling and saying everything's fine when what I really want to do is sleep for the next 24 hours, soak in a hot tub, and have a good cry.

I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who doesn't mind tripping over laundry, eating out, or supplementing his needs from Walmart.  He has always encouraged me to take more time for myself.  Maybe I should listen to him.  Things are slowing down.  Yesterday I was able to (and gave myself permission to) sleep in; thank You, Lord!  I spent some time with "the babies" (my youngest grandchildren) and cooked a beautiful meal for my entire family and a precious friend; it was a wonderful day!  Today the housekeeper is here doing all the things I have not been able to (bless her, Lord, she's so good to me). So today I am just going to relax - at least until it's time to fix dinner.  

This week I was reminded of what I already know full well, our days are numbered; we are not promised tomorrow.  There is no better time for me to start slowing down than now.  Maybe I'll start a new sewing project or go antiquing.  

What about you?

Easter

It's not about Easter bunnies, chocolate or otherwise.  It's not about little ducklings or chicks, cute as they may be.  It's not about hiding plastic eggs filled with candy...


It's about an empty tomb!  


It's about victory over death and the grave!  


It's about hope!


It's about life everlasting!


Obviously, you can celebrate any way you choose, just please "remember the reason for the season"; remember the power of the resurrection.  Don't let the true meaning get lost in baskets of Easter eggs and candy.  Our children should know that Christ gave His life for them, but that death could not hold Him.  

He lives!

Love to all, and may you be filled with the TRUTH of God's Word as you celebrate Resurrection Sunday.

Time Flies

My Addie Grace is playing T-Ball - WoW!  Seems like only yesterday, we were going to Emily's (her mother) first softball game and now she's old enough to have a baby playing ball.  Has it really been THAT long? 

"Time flies!"  Where does time go?  One day you're opening Valentine Cards and the next day you're opening Christmas presents.  One day I was young, slim, perky and the next day I'm old, fat, and sagging!  So time not only flies, it takes everything with it!


I was reading Ecclesiastes 3 today, "There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven."  I said, "This sounds like a statement of FACT, Lord.  So how many hours are really supposed to be in a day?  Did we get shorted?  Because I'm finding it difficult to get 'everything' done."  I'm sure God chuckled because He knows that HIS idea of the things that really need to be done today is not at all the same as MINE.  


Ooh, and then I moved down to verse 6...(the first part of this verse is for you, Floyd, "A time to search and a time to lose.")  Ok, here it is..."A time to keep and a time to throw away."  "Obviously You haven't shared this verse with James or Moi, Lord, because they don't throw away ANYTHING!  Or maybe they think they will be in a perpetual state of '...a time to keep...'!"  Seriously, James always has an empty box (or boxes) of some kind in his closet and Moi always has trash in his.


Isn't it funny how we pick out the verses that fit our situation and use them to justify a point we want to make?  Even better is when we actually go looking for a scripture to back us up.  


But that's another post...


Where does time go?  


Jim Croce sang, "If I could save time in a bottle..."  If we could save time, roll over what we haven't used today, what would we do with it?  Would we find more work to do?  Would we spend it with our families?  Would we rest?  Be creative? Vacation?  Watch TV?  Pray?  Just pass the time doing - nothing?  It's an interesting thought.


Love this:  Harvey MacKay wrote, "Time is free, but it's priceless.  You can't own it, but you can use it.  You can't keep it, but you can spend it.  Once you've lost it you can never get it back."  Sooo true!


Someone said, "Make every second count."  IF I've done this right (and the operative word is "if"), I've been alive about 1,832,267,308 seconds (give or take a second or two).  I'm sorry to say that I have not made every second count.  I have wasted valuable time on foolish things with no eternal value.  And right about now, I'm sure you're saying, "And you're wasting my time with this post!"  Hey, I didn't choose Chasing Rabbits as a blog title by accident!


Seriously, time is valuable and while we are here (in this place) we are to take advantage of every opportunity to love and be love (Christ) to others.  As we see in Ecclesiastes 3, God's timing is ever so perfect.  If we allow Him to order our day, set it aside for His express purpose, there will be time for all.  I pray that you will join me as I strive to turn my days over to the Lord, the One who created time, to do with as He pleases.  

Not long ago, while perusing Pinterest, I ran across a blog on Random Acts of Christmas Kindness.  It got me to thinking that there's no reason why we can't (and shouldn't) perform random acts of kindness every day, even if it's just opening a door for someone.  I would really like to incorporate this in our homeschool schedule.  I'm thinking that maybe once a week, we could purpose to practice a random act or two while on our way to appointments or running errands.
I've found it's the little things people appreciate the most.  It's very common for us to rally around someone who is ill, having surgery, or has just lost a loved one. What seems to be UN-common is doing little things for people "just because". 

The hope is that what what we sow in love we will reap in love.

I thought it would be fun to have you help us come up with a list of random acts that would be fun and inspirational to share with others.  I have included a link to the post I mentioned so you can get a better idea of what I'm talking about here.  If you happen to be participating in an activity like this already, I hope you will share your stories with us.  If not, I hope this will inspire you to get your own family involved in reaching out to others through random acts of kindness.


( http://tsjphotography.com/blog/random-acts-of-christmas-kindness-summary/)

Silence is Golden

Is it right to question God?


Whether it's right or wrong, I know God understands our hearts when we ask a question like this.  Remember, He is our Father; our Daddy.  The fact that we feel comfortable enough to climb up in His lap and ask the hard questions is proof of the amazing connection we can have with the very One who created us.


Right now so many in my circle of friends are dealing with loss, or impending loss.  More often than not, someone will ask the question, "Why?".  How can we, as mere mortals, answer a question as big as that?  The answer is, we can't.  We want so badly to do or say the right thing that will bring comfort and begin healing that we often say the wrong thing; sometimes we just need to be still.  


So why do we try?  Why do we continue to make feeble attempts to say anything at all?  


It's OK to just be silent, sit quietly, and pray.


Many years ago I had a young friend who lost her husband to cancer.  Because she was a good friend, I had the freedom to ask her "stupid" questions like "What should we do in these circumstances?".  She told me that as a Christian, she already knew exactly what the Bible said regarding loss, trusting God, faith, etc. and believed it with her whole heart.  What she really needed was someone to hold her, cry with her, hear others tell stories about her husband and smile with fond memories of him.  I've tried to remember this and apply it as much as possible; I have also drawn from my own  personal experiences of loss.   


A few weeks ago, one of my son's lost his half-brother in a motorcycle accident.  It was a devastating loss for that family.  This week a sweet little friend of mine lost her baby boy shortly after birth.  It is a horrible thing to have to bury a child, I know because I have also buried a child; a son.  


Anytime bad things happen, especially to children - our own children, we want to know why; we NEED a reason.  We somehow think that if we had a reason it would be easier to accept, it would ease the pain.  But would that really be the case?  The loss would still be felt, the hole in our lives would still be there.  


The only place I know to go from here is Isaiah 55: 8, "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord."


The bottom line for me is that there are some things we just have to accept by faith.


Let me assure you that regardless of how desperate your situation is, joy does come in the morning; we will see beauty in the ashes one day.  God's promises are true; you can trust Him.




Weigh In:
Because everyone's "love language" is different...I think it would be helpful for us to hear from those of you who have suffered loss.  What should we have done or said to you, during your time of grief, to make things easier?  What is the wrong thing to do?